she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
