she woke up with a sticky ear
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
