Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
