girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
