do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize