He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
