Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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