2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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