I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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