who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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