After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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