You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
