it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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