she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
