Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
