I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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