I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize