i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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