She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
