i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
