just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
