covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
