just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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