I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
