I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
