so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
