Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
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I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
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I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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