I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
