the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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