i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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