We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
