The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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