at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
