it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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