she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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