He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
