ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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