I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I want a musical about memes.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
