We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
