did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
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