Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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