What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
