i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
