I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
