He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
