if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
