You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
