I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
