Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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