All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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