I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
