Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
