Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize