I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
