: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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