Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
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