She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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