that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
