Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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