I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You smell like stripper and shame
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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