Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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