come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
