you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
