Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
